How to Be a Better dancer - How to get more dances.

Hi All.

Since moving to Sydney, I have been very fortunate are receiving many compliments for my dancing. In between, I have noticed some common thread of "where did you learn?". This on it's own, can be a thread, but I believe that the best dance school, is called the dance floor.

Now, I want to put a disclaimer first. I would never say I'm the best dancer in the world. I still see fantastic dancer, and one of my friend has this Groove, that I would love to learn, yet he has been dancing for less than half of what I have been. My intention is to get more people who are comfortable to have a dance, at any speed, for a song, without embarrassment and have fun.

Also, for me, a good dancer, is not about moves, this too, I will cover on another topic.

So off to the main point - How do you get more dances? As my philosophy on "getting better" in anything is practice, dancing as much as possible, is key to this. So, how?

1) Ask. - Duh! Obvious, but I am never amazed at the number of times you over-hear the "this sucks, I came all the way and haven't had any dances". Why? Because this person never asked for another for a dance. Unless there is a real reason (being stubbed by a heel, danced 4 fast songs in a row is all good enough reason) most dancers at ANY level will not say no. Part of it is because it's Karma (most people find it hard to say no to someone, and they don't want to be seen as a snob), but also it's an ego thing. Who wouldn't want someone to come up to you and say "I like your style, and I want your attention for 3 mins"? - So Ask. That's what you are there for, to dance.

2) Engage - When you are dancing, look at your partner, smile, laugh, make a step closer. This shows that you are enjoying the dance. Think of a coffee with a friend. Do you want to be with a friend who wants to listen to what you say, or someone who is always distracted, always looking at their phone. Will you ask them for coffee again? I once got into a conversation with a new found friend. She told me she enjoyed dancing with me. This came to a shock, as I thought that I was scaring her or something, as she didn't smile much. It turns out, she is still scared and still a beginner, so is a little tense. I know it's hard, but having some human reaction to a dance is good. And by engaging, it's also another good idea to thank the person for a dance after. After paying for your coffee, do you just leave, or do you stand for a bit, ask what their plan for the rest of the day is, then leave? Again, it's about leaving a positive impression. If you could relax because the song is finished, and you can now smile, it's not too late. Hug and a kiss on the cheek (if the person seems ok with it) for a bonus point.

3) Be seen - Most social dances happens in bars/pubs. Rarely (but sometimes) in studios.
If you are sitting on a high stool or a cubicle, then assume that you will either a) blend in with the background, or b) be seen as just another drinking patron. Stand at the edge of the dance floor, do some basic shuffle, to give a sign that you want to dance. Ladies, being shy here isn't cute, sometimes, it's just annoying. Go and ask. Another aspect of "being seen" also referrs to being seen on the dance floor. If people do not know your level, they will hesitate. If they see you, know you are at some level, or at least know the basic, the chance of someone asking you will increase.

4) Referral - This sounds like a sales pitch, but it's a variation to No1. If you met a guy/gal who is at or around your level, ask them if they have any friends that you can dance with. Or ask them to point out other people who they think you should dance with, etc.

Doesn't make sense? If you want to make more friends, what will you do? Meet more people, talk to more people, be polite, be friendly, have something in common, etc. Those basic "social principles" apply.

In a conversation last night, I realised that I go out with one crude principle, and this can be turned into a game to make it useful. I call this the "once only" rule. Basically, you dance with one person only once. If you have danced with this person for the night, you cannot dance with the person. Be flexible, (multiple dance style allowed, twice if not many people around, etc) but I find this forces you to look for the next person to dance with.

So that's me, with my thought on how to get more dances. Needless to say is avoid being sleazy, smell nice, be polite, don't hurt them or insult others, but again, hopefully those are conventional norm of the sociely. :)

Happy dancing.